Or still crazy after all these years

My workstation while writing an “Autobiography of a Paul Simon Fan.”

I’ve written four different autobiographies. And I expect to write more. Vanity lets me imagine my posterity finding some interest in them. But they’re really for me. They’re effective as writing exercises and sometimes mind-blowing as personal explorations.

I write my autobiographies against specific themes. My first is titled Autobiography of a Paul Simon Fan. Not because I’m a particularly ardent fan. I started writing when my children discovered “You Can Call Me Al” on their own and began singing it around the house. It amazed me because I was their age when I first heard that song. …

This article presumes two things: that the reader is familiar with 1) the controversy surrounding the Bears Ears National Monument, and 2) the writer Wallace Stegner. For those familiar with only one or neither, here’s a woefully inadequate primer.

Bears Ears is 1.35 million acres of public land located in southeastern Utah, which was declared a national monument by President Barack Obama in December, 2016. Five local Native American tribes have ties to the region, which is replete with more than 100,000 historic and archeological sites which have been subject to looting over the decades.

Since ancient times, oaths have been part of the fabric of society. Pledging allegiance to an individual, group, or deity has shaped identities, forged alliances, and catalyzed cultures.

Oaths are part of ancient Jewish, Hindu, Greek and Roman traditions. Oaths are found in the Old and New Testaments and in the Quran. The Hippocratic Oath taken by doctors today is one of the oldest documents in history. For over a millennium, English royalty has taken an oath at coronation to rule according to law, exercise justice with mercy, and to uphold the Church of England. …

Donald Trump’s supporters like to wave flags. But they are not always American flags. In the news and in my own community, I see more Trump flags than Stars and Stripes. Despite thousands being loyal to it, I don’t think the Trump flag has a formal pledge like our American flag has. So I took the liberty of writing a pledge of allegiance to this flag for them.

I pledge allegiance to the flag

of Donald Trump and MAGA.

And to the personality for which it stands.

At all costs.

Despite what anyone else says.

That is all.

You’re welcome. I’m open to suggestions and revisions.

January 20, 2017. United States Capitol, Washington, D.C.

Chief Justice Roberts: Please raise your right hand and repeat after me. I, Donald John Trump, do solemnly swear…

President-elect Donald J. Trump: I, Donald John Trump, do solemnly swear…

Roberts: That I will faithfully execute…

Trump: That I will faithfully execute…

Roberts: …the office of President of the United States.

Trump: …the office of President of the United States.

Roberts: And will to the best of my ability…

Trump: And will to the best of my ability…

Roberts: …preserve, protect, and defend…

Trump: …preserve, protect, and defend…

Roberts: …the Constitution of…

This November, I expect to have one of two experiences.

I will be thrilled and relieved with the election results and excited for the next four years.

Or I will be utterly disappointed and wonder what the country is coming to.

Hard to imagine much middle ground. And I’m pretty sure most Americans feel the same, regardless of who they’re voting for.

But then what?

How long will I celebrate? Or mourn? How long will I revel or wallow in the resulting news cycles? Will my role for the next four to eight years be that of fanboy or hater? Not when I consider this.

If my candidates win, I still have opportunities…

The Presidential Oath of Office is short:

I do solemly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.

This oath is mandated in the Constitution, itself (Article II, Section 1, Clause 8). Forty-four men have sworn to protect and defend the Constitution. They’ve had different political beliefs. They’ve debated and argued, even adversarially. They’ve interpreted portions of the document differently. Yet their loyalty to The Constitution remained a constant.

Donald J. Trump, however, shows…

In 1993, a study in the New England Journal of Medicine found that guns in the home were associated with an increased risk of homicide in the home. These findings led the National Rifle Association to lobby Congress to discontinue funding for such studies. They ran an article in their official journal, The American Rifleman, asking their members to protest the Center for Disease Control’s use of tax dollars to “conduct anti-gun pseudo-scientific studies disguised as research.” The NRA also asked the National Institute of Health’s Office of Scientific Integrity to investigate the authors of the study, but the organization…

After the rains from Hurricane Harvey became floodwaters that ran through living rooms, kitchens, bedrooms, and home offices of the Houston suburbs, my two teenagers and I volunteered to spend a weekend helping to save flood-damaged homes in the area.

Once the waters recede, there is a 30-day window to remove all the black mold-infested sheetrock and insulation from a house. After that period, the mold begins to take hold in the studs, blocking, and joists. Once the structure is affected, the house may as well be razed, with only the value of the land remaining. …

We’re taught to fear the Giants.
To run from them,
to warn others,
and live as far away from their reach as we can.

But we need to face the Giants.

Because the Giants
are what keep
the Ordinary

“The Wilson Intake” by Mitch Gordon

Greg Christensen

Creative Director | Writer

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